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Whale. Whale. Whale. What do we have here?

It's funny to see that the last time I posted on this journal was a year ago. I really want to stick to my new year resolutions and one of them is to start writing on here again. I couldn't commit to changing lovelygonzo but I don't want to post on there as is anymore because I feel like I'm not that person anymore. MCR is no longer ruling my life and I'm not trying to be in the circle with FOB anymore. Although they were great times, its in the past. I'm 26, now. Engaged. Still living at home. Recently graduated. Overweight... well, I guess some things never change. NO! This year is going to be great, its going to be legend...wait for it... dary! I feel the muscle relaxers kicking in now, I'll post my new year resolutions tomorrow.

Good night world. Bon nuit!

Hello there. I'll be your student nurse!

It is the end of week 3 for fundamentals, which means YES, I DID GET INTO THE NURSING PROGRAM! I am loving it. I just wish there was more time in a day to do everything. It really is about time management and I am very good at not managing time. I have a midterm next week and I have a lot to cover. I just wanted to make a quick update.

My unhappiness and depression is still here but I am trying my very best to change that. It's difficult when I can't do things the way I want especially because I do not have any money. No income, no nothing! But I might actually get a part-time. I need to be able to work at least 2 days *shrugs* I don't know. We'll see!!!

Anyways, I am a little happier because I am in school and I am definitely loving it :)

The morning after (Part 1)

I slept with the bedroom door closed. After 20-something years of sleeping with the door open, I think it is a step forward. Mom came in and started to give me pointers and suggestions about the orientation of the desk. "No, thank you." I just needed my desk back. This is not how the final look of the room will be. I still have a lot of things in the garage so really this is just the beginning. Operation Bedroom Deconstruction Reconstruction (Decon Recon) begins now.

Today is the last day of class for the preVN course. I really hope I make it this time around. Regardless of the outcome, I will be leaving the pharmacy by the end of this month. I am emotionally drained and absolutely overworked and under compensated and unappreciated. Almost 2 years at that place and it has to come to an end like this. It makes me angry. I put so much work into it and I do not have anything to show for it. Did I waste 2 years? I'm not entirely sure.

I have to get ready. As soon as I am done with my exam, I am leaving to see Danny. It'll be nice to just relax. Today is going to be a good day.

Much love,

a visit from preggo

Laris picked me up. The plan, as always, was to grab some hot drinks at Starbucks. Only this time, we didn't get drinks. We just sat in the parking lot and talked. We cried a bit and shared stories about the past couple of days and the frustrations that have plagued them. It was nice. It was what I needed from a friend. I came home to a dark house. Mom and dad asleep in the backroom and Andrea's door was closed. I called Danny to wish him goodnight and now I feel ready to go to sleep. Fer won't come home today. He probably won't come home until tomorrow. Damnit, I hope I don't miss his reaction when he sees the DOMO lights. They are awesome and after the christmas tree is thrown away, I'm hanging them in my room. Oh yeah, DOMO all year round!!

Good night.


Something has got to change.

Dear friend,

It has been a very long time since I last updated anything blog-related. Since my best friend is no longer my roommate and lives on the other side of the country with her stupid "boyfriend" I no longer have the ear that would listen to my raging vents. I think I scare my fiance when I let my thoughts run wild and truth be told, as much as he tries, he just does not compare to the emotional understanding I would receive from my roommate. I love him dearly but I should not rely on him for everything. He has his own demons and worries to deal with.

I remember when I lived alone in PV that I used to blog... frequently, as a matter of fact. Every emotion was documented, every detail was set out, every picture was accounted for. Granted, I wasn't happier then, but at least I would not feel the way I am now. I had an outlet. And hell maybe this will motivate me to start my healthy eating habits! Point is, I need to work on myself. Something has got to change.

I have to change. I need to change. I want to change.

And I have a good feeling about this. I think this may be the beginning of a (good) change.